


The Date

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [78]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Dates, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 13:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8373634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: little lion: okay so I'm not saying it feels like I'm dyinglittle lion: but it feels like I'm dyinglaf: you're literally just lying herelittle lion: yeah but





	

**little lion** : okay so I'm not saying it feels like I'm dying  
  
**little lion** : but it feels like I'm dying  
  
**laf** : you're literally just lying here  
  
**little lion** : yeah but I have a dATE  
  
**little lion** : WITH J E F F E R S O N  
  
**laf** : okay true  
  
**johnn** : are you okay  
  
**johnn** : like you're shaking enough to wake me up  
  
**little lion** : in addition to my death I am mostly naked and very cold so I'm shivering  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**johnn** : you said yes to the date also??  
  
**little lion** : I KNOW I DID BUT STILL!!!  
  
**johnn** : okay that's fair  
  
**little lion** : WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN  
  
**little lion** : OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL ANGELICA  
  
**laf** : why do you need to tell her??  
  
**little lion** : WE'RE POLY PALS I CANT JUST N O T TELL HER IM GOING OUT WITH JEFFERSON  
  
**johnn** : poly pals  
  
**little lion** : SHE HATES THE NAME BUT I THINK ITS CUTE SO ://  
  
**johnn** : it is cute  
  
**little lion** : R I G H T  
  
**little lion** : DO YOU THINK IF I ASKED HER TO GO TO LUNCH WITH ME SHED SAY YES  
  
**laf** : I mean  
  
**laf** : I don't see why not  
  
**little lion** : I can't remember if she's going to the trampoline place today with her signifs and their collective children this week or next  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**little lion** : I'll call her  
  
**laf** : it's eight in the morning  
  
**little lion** : I'll call her,,,later  
  
**laf** : good plan  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : wow I'm awake  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and,,,none of you are  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay then peace out  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : I go to sleep for two more hours and you two just  
  
**more like HUNKules** : well I was trying make breakfast and be That Husband  
  
**more like HUNKules** : but then alex came out half asleep and started rambling abt how much he loves me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and so I kissed him  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and then it,,,,,escalated  
  
**laf** : this day is already so wild I can't do it  
  
**laf:** his knees are gonna be fucked up from this  
  
**more like HUNKules** : he fucking stopped earlier to call angelica  
  
**laf** : DID HE REALLY  
  
**more like HUNKules** : YEAH AND SHE HEARD ME BREATHING LIKE A FUCKING MARATHON RUNNER AND THEN YELLED AT HIM AND HUNG UP  
  
**laf** : OH MY GOD  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : our bed is so big what the fuck  
  
**johnn** : I'm never in it alone so I never notice but like our bed is huge  
  
**johnn** : why do we even want a bigger bed whole generations could fit in this  
  
**laf** : so we don't have to squeeze together all the time  
  
**johnn** : we'd do it anyway  
  
**johnn** : let's save the money and buy a new toaster  
  
**laf** : we'd have so much money left over  
  
**johnn** : we'd need bread to put in the new toaster  
  
**laf** : okay true but we'd have like 1,500 dollars left  
  
**johnn** : fu ck in g c h r i s t  
  
**johnn** : still we don't need a new bed this one is only four years old  
  
**laf** : fine we can get a new toaster and consider keeping our bed  
  
**laf** : now get out here we have food  
  
**johnn** : right right I'm coming  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : oh my god what am I gonna wear  
  
**more like HUNKules** : for what lunch with angelica or the date with jefferson  
  
**little lion** : BOTH  
  
**johnn** : yellow!!  
  
**laf** : are you kidding me that's like the w o r s t color to wear on a first date  
  
**johnn** : I think yellow is cute though  
  
**laf** : a question:  
  
**laf** : is it because on our very first real date hercules wore that yellow shirt that made you cry  
  
**johnn** : ,,,,,,,,,fuck  
  
**laf** : case closed  
  
**more like HUNKules** : aw I love you john  
  
**johnn** : love you too!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : also wear red on the date  
  
**little lion** : I feel like red is too ~~sexual~~  
  
**more like HUNKules** : well I mean,,,,  
  
**little lion** : HERCULES  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oKAY  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you look really nice in red and green  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and orange but d o n t wear orange  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**little lion** : can anyone look Good in Orange  
  
**laf** : hello  
  
**little lion** : you look good in everything you don't count  
  
**laf** : aw  
  
**laf** : also wear black for lunch with angelica  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay I have to know why  
  
**laf** : bc she's going to kill him so he might as well dress for it  
  
**little lion** : good point  
  
**little lion** : black it is then  
  
**little lion** : I have to brush my teeth again  
  
**laf** : when?? did you brush them the first time  
  
**little lion** : after the blowjobs  
  
**laf** : right  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : judging by the Heavy making out that you three are doing  
  
**little lion** : I'm going to just,,,sneak out to meet angelica  
  
**little lion** : so bye I love you!!  
  
**little lion** : I'm also taking the car so I hope you don't need it rip if you do lmao  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : we love you too alex!!  
  
**johnn** : why do you just,,,check your phone,,,as if I'm not,,,,on you  
  
**laf** : I saw text messages from alex and got excited  
  
**johnn** : yeah I could tell  
  
**johnn** : I'm o n you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : are you two kidding me rn  
  
**johnn** : lafayette started it  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and I'm going to end it  
  
**johnn** : what is that supposed to meOH M Y GDO DKFHS;LKGHS;  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : I GET OUT OF THE CAR AND CHECK MY PHONE TO SEE T H I S  
  
**little lion** : AND I CHOKED ON MY OWN SPIT AND IM DYING AND PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME  
  
**laf** : is angelica there yet  
  
**little lion** : yES AND SHE JUST PUT SUNGLASSES ON AND IS PRETENDING THAT SHE DOESNT KNOW ME  
  
**johnn** : omg  
  
**little lion** : ARENT YALL DOING SOMETHING  
  
**johnn** : we kind of forgot we were doing it  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**johnn** : we're getting back to it we gotta go  
  
**little lion** : have fun I guess??  
  
**johnn** : good luck with angelica  
  
**little lion** : thaNKS  
  
\---  
  
**angelica** : HES DOING W H A T  
  
**more like HUNKules** : haha yeah  
  
**angelica** : WITH JEFFERSON  
  
**laf** : yes  
  
**angelica** : TONIGHT???  
  
**johnn** : that is the date they have set  
  
**angelica** : AND YOURE JUST ALL OKAY WITH IT  
  
**laf** : of course  
  
**johnn** : why wouldn't we be  
  
**more like HUNKules** : if this is what he wants then we're gonna support him  
  
**angelica** : j e f f e r s o n  
  
**angelica** : likE WHY??  
  
**little lion** : okay you have no room to talk  
  
**angelica** : I??  
  
**little lion** : YOU AND CHURCH  
  
**little lion** : HIS BIRTHDAY 2013  
  
**angelica** : WE MADE A FUCKING BLOOD OATH THAT YOU WOULDNT TELL ANYONE  
  
**little lion** : I B A R E L Y BLED  
  
**angelica** : IT FUCKING COUNTS  
  
**little lion** : W H A T E V E R  
  
**laf** : I??  
  
**johnn** : blood oaths???  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,,,  
  
**little lion** : we have to go  
  
**angelica** : bye I'm going to yell at alex for his life choices  
  
**little lion** : pray for me  
  
**laf** : we will  
  
**johnn** : we love you!!  
  
**little lion** : I love you too!!  
  
**angelica** : gross  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : I'm home!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : good we're looking at outfits for your date  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**little lion** : not the time but our kids are gonna be the most fashionable children ever literally  
  
**more like HUNKules** : true like there's me, a tailor  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and then there's laf, literal ethereal deity  
  
**laf** : y'all are too much  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and then there's alex, who is very good at color coordinating  
  
**johnn** : and me who is,,,,subpar at moral support  
  
**laf** : you can match clothes  
  
**johnn** : not Well though  
  
**laf** : you've gotten better  
  
**johnn** : thanks??  
  
**laf** : I love you tho   
  
**johnn** : love you too!!   
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : I feel like we should invite madison over while they're on this date  
  
**laf** : I already did lmao  
  
**johnn** : when were you gonna tell us this??  
  
**laf** : when he showed up,,,,,  
  
**johnn** : I am literally naked in our living room like???  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**laf** : that sounds like more of a you problem  
  
**johnn** : WOW  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : tfw alex is wearing his garter belt like c a s u a l l y for this date  
  
**more like HUNKules** : or maybe not casually idk his choice  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and you really just want to,,,,,make out,,,,with his thighs,,,,,,  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm like beside myself rn   
  
**little lion** : chill  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm trying love  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,,maybe tomorrow,,,,,  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh god  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : okay so  
  
**little lion** : jefferson's car is really nice  
  
**little lion** : like really really nice  
  
**laf** : how nice  
  
**little lion** : bmw  
  
**laf** : jesus  
  
**little lion** : this terrifies me  
  
**johnn** : madison brought chicken wings god bless his soul  
  
**laf** : there's so m a n y  
  
**little lion** : I don't know where we're going just that he doesn't have a tie on so I was like ??? so I asked if I should take my tie off and he was like idk sure?? so when I was in the middle of doing that and he almost crashed the car bc he was staring at me  
  
**johnn** : tbh?? same  
  
**little lion** : I hate this  
  
**johnn** : do you want to leave  
  
**little lion** : no it's fINE it's just wEIRD  
  
**little lion** : LIKE  
  
**laf** : we understand we get it  
  
**little lion** : okay so well I have to go bc he just put on stupid music and I'm gonna fight him abt it  
  
**laf** : romance  
  
**little lion** : HUSH  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : we're listening to prince of egypt soundtrack??  
  
**laf** : you love that movie  
  
**little lion** : ITS A GOOD MOVIE  
  
**laf** : I KN O W  
  
**laf** : wait why are you still in the car it's been like forever  
  
**little lion** : I DONT KNOW HE WONT TELL ME WHERE WE'RE GOING  
  
**little lion** : I THINK WE MIGHT BE LOST  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**laf** : ""that's sounds like him"" - madison  
  
**little lion** : I JUST ASKED HIM IF WE'RE LOST AND HE BLUSED AND SAID NO  
  
**little lion** : ""we don't have to make our reservation for another half hour it's fine"" ""did you?? plan for us to get lost??"" ""I may have,,,taken that into account yeah""  
  
**johnn** : wow for the human Mess that is jefferson  
  
**johnn** : he is prepared  
  
**little lion** : we're here now??? I literally did not notice that we turned down this street???  
  
**little lion** : I have to go now bye!!  
  
**johnn** : bye have fun I love you!!  
  
**little lion** : I love you all too!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : G E T  I T  
  
**little lion** : H E R C U L E S  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : I JSUT FUCKIGN SNORTED I HATE MY L I F E  
  
**little lion** : he just called it adorable what the f uc k is this  
  
**johnn:** AW  
  
**little lion** : he doesn't notice I'm typing underneath the table I feel so rude rn omg I have to go fuck I'm such a terrible person  
  
**johnn** : FALSE  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : OKAY SO,,,,,,  
  
**johnn** : three hours??  
  
**little lion** : IM NOT SAYING I JUST MADE OUT WITH JEFFERSON IN THE BACK OF HIS BMW FOR ROUGHLY AN HOUR  
  
**little lion** : B U T  L I K E  
  
**laf** : OH MY GOD  
  
**more like HUNKules** : G E T  I T  
  
**johnn** : ALSO MADISON AND HERCULES ARE LIKE HALF ASLEEP ON EACH OTHER AND ITS VERY ODD  
  
**laf** : it's like a weird cloning process except madison has a more prominent part in his hair  
  
**laf** : that's how I tell em apart  
  
**little lion** : they're completely different  
  
**johnn** : no??  
  
**little lion** : they move differently and they speak differently  
  
**little lion** : hercules smiles  
  
**little lion** : madison squints  
  
**johnn** : well yeah that's obvious but like they're asleep  
  
**little lion** : what they're wearing  
  
**johnn:** o h  
  
**little lion** : unbelievable  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : I'm home!!  
  
**laf** : it's one in the morning  
  
**little lion** : haha yeah we made out again for like half an hour that's not the point someone has to come here and unlock the door  
  
**laf** : did you not take your keys with you  
  
**little lion** : I WAS WORRIED ABOUT OTHER THINGS TBH  
  
**laf** : okay fair point I'm coming  
  
**laf** : madison is like awake but not and hercules is dead asleep  
  
**laf** : wait where is jefferson  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,in his car  
  
**laf** : do I want to know why  
  
**little lion** : I'm a very good kisser  
  
**little lion** : he's still in shock  
  
**laf** : I can relate  
  
**laf** : I can honestly Still relate??  
  
**johnn** : rt  
  
**more like HUNKules** : rt  
  
**laf** : you were just asleep??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : anyway  
  
**little lion** : STOP  
  
**little lion** : IM ALREADY BLUSHING  
  
**laf** : aw  
  
**little lion** : YOU HAVENT LET ME IN THE HOUSE YET YOURE JUST STANDING IN THE DOORWAY SMILING AT ME LIKE YOURE GONNA KISS ME  
  
**little lion** : WHICH YOU HAVENT DONE EITHER  
  
**laf:** I think you just want me to kiss you  
  
**little lion** : I do  
  
**laf** : aw  
  
**little lion** : NOW LET ME IN  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : sO MANY CHICKEN BONES  
  
**laf:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
  
**little lion** : also saying goodbye to madison is weird like how do you look someone in the eyes when you just made out with his boyfriend in the front and backseat of a car  
  
**laf** : it's not like you did anything wrong like we all agreed to this  
  
**little lion** : s t i l l  
  
**laf** : what was it like making out with jefferson  
  
**little lion** : he tastes like wine  
  
**laf** : did he drink wine  
  
**laf** : like I'm totally chill with this relationship but if he had one ounce of alcohol in his system when he was driving I'm tearing him apart limb from limb  
  
**little lion** : he didn't  
  
**little lion** : it's like how you always taste like butterscotch  
  
**laf** : just making sure  
  
**laf** : but like what was it LIKE  
  
**johnn** : ARE WE GOSSIPING I WANT IN  
  
**little lion** : IDK?? IT WAS LIKE MAKING OUT WITH LAF EXCEPT JEFFERSON IS THE MOST SUBMISSIVE PERSON ON THE PLANET  
  
**johnn** : O H  M Y  G O D  
  
**little lion** : IM GOING TO BED BYE KIDS  
  
**laf** : WE'RE COMING  
  
**johnn** : lmao I'm not hercules is like lying on top of me now so I'm gonna stay here with him  
  
**little lion** : okay love you!!  
  
**johnn** : love you too!!  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you left your tie in my car  
  
**little lion** : listen I know that we're like dating or smth now but  
  
**little lion** : it's three in the morning  
  
**little lion** : and I am aSLEEP  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : right  
  
**little lion** : why are you not asleep????  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : james brough chicken wings home and I'm stealing them before he can wake up and eat them  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**little lion** : goodnight thomas  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : gooodnight alexander

**Author's Note:**

> THERE ARE TWO SECONDS OF LIKE THE ACTUAL DATE IN THIS BUT IDK HOW ELSE I WOULD INCORPORATE THAT INTO THIS IDK


End file.
